I woke up this morning to find out that my dog can’t walk anymore. My mom and I assumed that she had done something to her back and took her to the vet so that she could get some pain meds. What I didn’t prepare myself for was a trip to the doggie ER, where the vet told us it’s very probable that she’d need a $6,000 surgery to walk again. Oh ya, and that we’d have to leave her overnight for some tests. As my mom and I scraped ourselves together and drove home the vet called us back saying that they’d been observing her more and that it most likely isn’t related to her back, it’s more likely neurological. A.k.a. brain tumor. To which my mom told me, “we have a rule. We just can’t if it’s cancer.” So here I am, I went from oh shit my dog looks kind of off today to am I going to have to say goodbye tomorrow. Life kind of fucking sucks right now.
It’s weird. I knew she was getting old and I knew there would come a time where I’d have to prepare myself for something like this, but I’m not ready. I know it’s kind of silly to get this worked up over an animal, but they really are family. Lizzie watched me grow up, she knows all my friends, it’s like I’m loosing a part of my childhood. Like that dog has been there for me when I’ve broken down on several different occasions, they just know when you’re upset and I can’t explain it, but they always know how to react. I leave for school in three days… and I don’t know what’s going to happen. I don’t know if I can say goodbye.
Despite wanting to write this to help me feel better, I also just wanted to give a shout out to those people out there who tell you that it’s gonna be ok. There are just some people that have genuinely good souls. So thank you to those people that have made me smile today and helped me realize that no matter what, life is going to suck sometimes, but it’s going to be ok. You keep me centered. I cannot thank you enough for just making me smile today.